Stagnant

Stagnant ponds are something I find intriguing and gross: the film lying on the surface, growing daily, is disgusting, but the cause to the film and possible ways of ridding the pond of film are unknown to me. The unknown of what lies below the surface does not appeal to me at all, but wondering if a certain fish or snail or animal will rid the water of such scum does interest me. I do not want to "fix" the pond, merely find out what has the potential to release the pond from the stagnant growth.

Last week, I was outside for too long and earned a sun burn for my lack of preparation. For the remainder of the week, I was unable to do any of my exercises because my back and shoulders hurt so badly. I was unable to stop my muscles from becoming stagnant.

This weekend, my skin returned to its normal pallor and its flexibility returned, which allowed me to return to biking this week. However, after playing volleyball Sunday evening then biking 9 miles my muscles were incredibly sore. The muscles from the small of my back down through my calf muscles ached yesterday afternoon until this morning.

And I realized that stagnant muscles grow pond scum.

In order for you to remain mentally sharp, you must actively engage your brain--crossword puzzles, word finds, sudoku, etc... To keep your muscular physique, you must continue using your muscles--jog, cycle, lift weights, etc.... In order to maintain your spiritual prowess, you must practice your religion--pray, read, get together with others of your faith, etc...

Remain active! Stay away from stagnant. Don't let pond scum get into your life. Do something!

Go.

Truth?

I have been raised in a church my entire life, and at the age of 27 I find myself drawn back almost every Sunday. Why? Why do I want to subject myself to various rules and regulations and strict patterns of thinking while not exploring the world as it is and people for who they are? Because I think I have found something in the Bible that I want to hold onto.

Throughout college and the past 4 years, I needed something upon which to hope. I learned the hard way that people cannot hold up to your expectations, and the deity presented in the Bible never failed His followers. His followers grasped something that I want to own. 

I think they held onto hope, love, and trust. 

I really needed that this past decade. I really need that now.

I decided to enter into the field of education because I loved the summers I spent working with kids at summer camp. I will not trade those summers for anything. I fell in love with teaching and helping kids and wanting them to succeed and try new things. Even with that passion, I have two part time jobs--substitute teaching and a coffee shop. My dream of teaching has been put on hold by a remote control that is far beyond my reach. I need something upon which to hope and trust.

What I have found in the Bible is not a deity of laws and rules and regulations with strict codes of conduct and narrow mindedness, but a deity who cares about me and wants me to succeed. This deity has supposedly inspired individuals to write out His thoughts and a history of certain peoples. Through all of that, this Deity reads to all people as a god who loves human kind, wants what is best for the entire race, but acts as a sort of parent in all of His dealings--He doesn't always give what is wanted, He understands timing better than we, and above all He wants us to realize and understand that He loves us.

That hope and love and trust is what I have needed and am still finding. 

Do I want the church? Not really. 

I have seen it hurt and scar. I have seen it help 100s of people with their daily, "real" lives--groceries and clothing. I have watched it shape many people into incredible people who go on to live lives that point back to this deity or fall apart and want nothing to do with the deity. 

But the church is not the thing with the TRUTH. Often times it is the church that twists and taints the truth most severely.

I want the Bible and the hope and love and trust within it. 

I need that hope. that love. that trust. That deity telling me that 'in due time I will give you pieces of your dream that will slowly fall into place for you. And in a time scale you do not understand, you will be truly happy.'

I need hope. And truth.

I think that I have found it, in some weird, crazy deity called the God.