A couple of weeks ago I spent a week at the beach, on an island to be more precise. It was great. I began missing the water and sand two days after I returned to Ohio.
I learned a few things during vacation.
1. According to my mother, being a “morning person” entails (1) getting up early, no matter what time you retired the previous evening, (2) be willing to carry on a conversation moments after you climb out of the top bunk bed, and (3) having great tolerance to children being loud and obnoxious before, during, and for 43 minutes after you awake.
2. I am not a morning person.
3. Our neighbors believe that whining “don’t do that” will naturally give us the logical resistance to not turn them in for (a) catching the dune on fire, (b) putting it out by jumping on the fire (illegal because they had to stand on the dune to do so), and (c) setting off fireworks (which is also illegal).
4. Stupid people can do anything if they have grand amounts of money.
5. 6am on the beach is NEVER too early for a walk, if you have a camera and are taking pictures.
6. You must the take a nap beginning before 10am if you arise before 6am and you are living beachside.
7. Children who leave the room without first turning the TV off should have their hands—plural—chopped off. At all times!
8. Shoes are ridiculous, unless you are going out to eat. They should not be worn unless you will not be admitted into the establishment without them. The only other exception is when you are working.
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