Recently I have been put to the test mentally and spiritually. Hard pressed on every side, but not crushed: that is the power of God!
So to celebrate God renewing my spirit, I thought I might help renew yours. Laughter is a great way to relieve stress and heal your body naturally. It releases endorphins, the bodies natural "feel good" hormone, which allows you to relax and take some time to just be yourself. ... Right before you run back out the door and get smacked in the face with more stress.
These are actual incidents. Really, I couldn't pretend this stuff happened.
Test Question:
What decimal do we use for pi?
Answer:
yes
A student pointed to the inside of his elbow and, very seriously, announced, "I got hit with the football in the nervous system, and now my arm hurts."
I took the class to the gym to study angles. The Phys Ed teacher was standing close by, watching what we were doing. One of my students looks around the gym then sees the Phys Ed teacher leaning against the wall. My student turns to me and asks, "Can I use his legs, Mr. Kelley? They are an acute angle."
While being video taped, one little boy waved and said, "Hey. My name is ..."
"Mr. Kelley, can I take you home with me? ... ... ... So you can do my homework?"
At the beginning of school, a student runs up to my desk!
"Mr. Kelley! Do you know what will happen in two hours?"
"No, I don't. What?"
"I will turn 11!"
"Why not now?"
"Because I was born at twelve something."
Today is National Shut Up Day, so be quiet!
--one of my students made that up
Two students were arguing about playing baseball. After one of the boys became very agitated he said, "I can to hit the ball! ... Just not if it isn't my ball."
First day of school questionnaire:
Tell me (Mr. Kelley) something I should know about you.
Student response:
I'm funny, aggressive, fast, and kind of annoying.
Well excuse my bladder!
Multiple choice options:
A B C D
Multiple choice answer:
5
Have you ever thought about your favorite color? What if it's red? Then blue is like, "why not me? I'm as good as red." And then there is orange, way out there beside purple; and they are both alone. And what about brown? "I look like crap!" And black is all down in the dumps thinking "only the bad kids like me."
The book read:
He scratched his head...
The student said:
He scattered his head...
"When did we cover invisible numbers? Was I asleep that day?"
"Yes. And they are divisible numbers."
A teacher walked in to the classroom and motioned me aside. She pointed out a child with a frown. "Do NOT let him sit down. At all. He just tried to glue himself to his chair. He still has glue on his backside."
While driving, I listened to the driver say "The person in front of us just needs to go a consistent temperature!"
Girl: LBJ! That's Lebron James!
Boy: No. I'm pretty sure it's referring to Lyndon B. Johnson.
Girl: You made that up!
I hope that you were able to at least chuckle at a few of those. There are many more, but some of them need explained and that takes away part of the humor.
The last ditch effort to help relieve stress? Go buy the game "Curses." It comes in a yellow box and can be found on Amazon.com for right around $22.50. Everyone that plays ends up sounding and looking like idiots, but it is well worth it because of the laughter and fun.
Enjoy life, have fun, and do it all with friends.
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